‘I’m Not Like Other Girls’ – Promoting toxicity at its best.

 

source: google images

During our teenage years, we would have come across this phrase a lot and most of us actually would have actually felt good hearing this; even I did at some point. But once we got a taste of the real world in our adulthood, a lot of us realized how toxic and cringe this is.

To put it in simple words, this phenomenon goes against the stereotypes that are considered feminine by the society (mostly heterosexual men) - makeup, fashion, fitness and so on. Some of us girls who don’t fit into this so called stereotype try to separate ourselves from the rest of the female population and hence consider ourselves “Not Like Other Girls”. Nowadays, this is what you call being ‘quirky’.

As much as we loved this trend in the beginning and used to think we were cool for not being ‘girly’, this trend has hidden internalized misogyny all over it. Considering yourself more cool and 'swag' for not putting on make-up while attacking other women for doing the same and thinking these women are probably dumb because all they care about how they look and their favourite colour is pink doesn’t seem very quirky anymore.

Even though we as a society should be celebrating and accepting the individual differences, there are more ways of doing it than putting people down for having different interest than yours. Even if we had likings and favorites that were even close to being feminine, a lot of us would fear admitting out in public so that people wouldn’t stop thinking we were cool.

A part of blame also goes to movies for promoting this stereotype to the core. If you come across any romantic comedy movies or dramas, there is always a storyline where the villain is the so called mean girl who would always wear high end fashion clothes and this heroine, who wears loose t-shirts and jeans and a nerdy glass, (which is another toxic trait that means glasses make you look ugly) and the hero, after having playing his way around several ‘feminine’ girls, falls for the heroine because guess what – She is different from other girls. And the worst part is, both the girls are made to hate each other because of a guy. Imagine being all high and mighty about pulling other woman down just to satisfy your ego.

This is developed as a result of male dominated society where things that have anything to do with women are seen as delicate and sensitive. Your hobbies are probably painting, reading and shopping; No way your favourite colour is anything either pink or purple; you probably aren’t that that interested in sports or cars and thus don’t know anything about it and hence are devoid of knowledge; you listen to English boy band songs or k-pop because of the attractive guys and the list goes on and on. But not only women, this further leads to promoting toxicity among men where men who shed tears or show even an ounce of emotion are faced with comments like “Are you a girl?”, “Stop whining like a teenage chic”,  and many such statements which clearly indicates how feminine qualities are seen as degrading and not good enough in a patriarchal society.

And surprise! this has nothing to do with feminism and its rather crying in the corner and this is something that can only be accomplished once we step out of the bubble of internal misogyny, and let go of the stereotypes for which we hate other women. Or even better – stop judging anyone for anything regardless of gender or any other identity created by the society.

Yes, she wears short skirts, drinks alcohol and smokes, and I wear loose clothes and sneakers; and no she is not a slut and I am not a goddess. We are all the same.

Celebrating our differences is wonderful and need of the moment, but what is even more positive and wholesome is letting other people enjoy what they enjoy.